How The Peruvian learned English

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How The Peruvian learned English

Just got this question on my mail and felt compelled to answer. You never know when your advice can come handy and contribute to someone's learning:

Hola mi amiguito Peruano!

I'm trying to learn fluent Spanish! It has been a fun adventure so far. :)
Anyways, I'm assuming that Spanish was your first language, but I've noticed that you write English very well. For heaven's sake, you used the word 'vapid' in the last post. As stupid as it makes me feel to admit it, I had to look that one up in the dictionary. And you write very naturally, not stiffly or formally, so it doesn't sound like you learned out of a textbook.
So, you have reached the success in my language that I want to reach in your language. How did you go about learning it? Any advice for a Spanish wannabe?

Thanks!

-me :)


To be honest, I'm only answering because I think 'Me' might look like this.

 Dear 'Me',

Language learning is a long process involving dedication, initiative,discipline and... time. Unless you are a savant, only time can make your learning process truly succesful. And of course, some people are naturals, although among those who achieve native-like results there are plenty of hard-working folks.

As most middle class Peruvians, I had terrible English teachers at primary & secondary school. Private schools. (I don't need to mention how crappy public schools are.) We poor bastards spend six hours a week memorizing and repeating single words, being tortured by a teacher whose level was intermediate at best.Terrorized and bored to death, the classroom was a necessary evil my classmates and I had to suffer everyday. Not to speak about the other subjetcs. (Religion was nothing but copying pages of the Bible, Music was just drawing pentagrams, and History was listening to a borderline illiterate teacher talking about Incas as if they were demigods.)

We had a 15-minute break when the patio was divided so that boys and girls didn't talk, and after that we had to go back to our cellblocks -I mean, classrooms- to endure more hours of meaningless lessons. Literature was particularly frustrating for me, since I was really into poetry and narrative, and the teachers hadn't even read any of the books they talked about.

Yeah I have bitter memories from school, so do all my ex-classmates, and many of us were expellled -some were mean on purpose to get the ticket outta there- so besides some fun times with friends, I'd rather not recalling my days in jail.

This is me being forced to sing the national anthem and pray every morning at the patio.
To have some decent education, Peruvians have to pay big bucks. At the time, my private school was no more than some 100 bucks a month, while decent schools were over 500. Again, you can see how our government keeps on making education and culture an unreachable jewel. If you are lucky enough to go to a fancy binational school where English, German, French or Italian are taught since kinder, that's a good way to learn a second language easily and effectively. Only my parents weren't Apple CEOs, Congresspeople or bank robbers, so I was given an 11-year sentence to a middle class school.

I wasn't interested in English at first, since French was so much more related to my main interest- literature. After learning French for some years, I realized I'd been wasting my time, since French, being a beautiful language, was absolutely useless. Everyone likes a dude who can read Rimbaud and Verlaine, but no one's gonna pay him one cent for doing so. So I decided to learn English. I'm not interested in traveling at all, but mastering the lingua franca would open doors for me, namely a decent job.

I went to a British academy -yeah I learned the shockingly ugly silent 'R's and tasteless slang such as 'asrse' and 'chap'- and then I was admitted to a translation school, where I was taught advanced English. I traveled to the States a couple of times and studied Teaching Methodology.

My process consisted in 'attacking' English from various fronts. Going to an academy is just one step -often the first one. But I could have mastered my English if it wasn't for TV and music. Now that teens count on Youtube and other online resources, there's no excuse- it's all so accessible & user-friendly. I still read loads of blogs, download radio shows and analyze TV sitcoms to extract vocabulary.

By the way, I didn't learn the term 'vapid' from a dictionary, but from fucking Howard Stern! I spend hours listening to big mouths like him, studying their accents, slangs and structures. Most make a big mistake and only listen to academic tapes. In order to learn real English, you have to listen to Snoop dogg, Joe the Plumber, the Obamaphone Lady, Sarah Palin, Britney Spear's ex-husbands and other halfwits who will show you how English is actually spoken.

Meet Billy Bob, my English teacher.


So, if you really wanna learn Spanish, I suggest an open-minded approach. Don't take academic learning as something that will actually teach you the real language. Academic learning might account for about 40% to 60%, but no more. Watch TV in Spanish. The news on Telemundo or CNN in Spanish are awesome, but you must not forget reality shows, soap operas, comedies and other informal stuff often dismissed by learners and even teachers.

One more thing- don't ever dismiss challenges. You're not constantly being scored, so when you're just learning the basics and have the opportunity to talk to a drunk Cuban guy with a funny accent, do it. You won't believe the way challenges master our learning. I personally had serious problems with my listening. You know what the solution was? An American professor suddenly had to leave the country and I was asked to replace him. I was asked to teach Advanced English Oral Comprehension! (!!!) How could I ever teach such subject when I myself was unable to understand most tapes? So I said yes. I'd be a liar if I told u I accepted because I like challenges. I did because I needed the extra money. So I had to spent hours preparing classes over several tapes & videos showing accents like American Mid-Western, Irish, African American, Cockney, Australian, and some foreign accents like Chinese and Arabs talking in English. That way I beat my previous difficulty and, after a couple of semesters of suffering, now I can say my students are happy with my performance.

AND! You don't have to be super smart to learn Spanish -or any other language, actually. ANYONE can do it. There's the false belief that only super brains can master a language, and that's why foreign language teachers have groupies -yeah we do! But that's as false as Obama holding an American flag. I repeat: ANYONE can do it. Anyone. So that's my view on language learning and I hope it helps those interested in learning how to curse in Spanish.

Fuck, even SHE learned Spanish. (And she dated fucking Ben Affleck.)




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