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Judul : Top 3 Stupidest Beliefs about Peruvians
link : Top 3 Stupidest Beliefs about Peruvians

Top 3 Stupidest Beliefs about Peruvians

I can't help laughing hard whenever a foreign creep comes up to me and claims to know so much about Peruvians. Americans are insular and self-unaware, Europeans misunderstand everything and Asians are so damn naive.

And we Peruvians generalize like crazy.

So I picked some of the most usual -and most retarded- misbeliefs about Peru I've ever heard.

3. Peruvians speak Kechua, Kahuna, Kardashian or whatever

Other people's ethnic background is as fascinating to me as a Christian documentary on the history of slow-motion golf in black & white. So I happened to be reading at an American public library, minding my own business, when this guy asked me where I was from. (Why do Americans love to talk to strangers so much!?!?) I often reply 'Southern Liechtenstein' or any other weird stuff so that strangers go away, but as I was focused on my magazine -it was a gamer's magazine!- I just said 'Peru.'
- Oh Peru! My dream place! I love Peruvian beer "Cusquena"! I sell some Peruvian hats in my store! So you speak Kechua! Anchatam kusikusani riqsisuspayki!
- WTF...
- Kastillanuta rimankichu?
- ...
- Sorry if my Kechua is not that good...
-Sorry, me no speak English good. BYE

Wearing a Peruvian hat and drinking Peruvian beer won't make you any nicer (or younger.)

 So I was sitting there with this Peru-lover who had probably learned everything he knew about Peru from "Peruvian culture for Dummies".

Or in "The Tree Hugger Hipster's Guide: How to Piss Off a Peruvian in 5 Fucking Seconds."

 See, we are about 30 million Peruvians -and a couple million more living abroad- and the VAST MAJORITY of us speak Spanish. I'm not saying that we don't have any native languages. In fact, out of the 8 million Kechua speakers in the world, nearly half live in Peru. (2 millions in Ecuador, 1.5 million in Bolivia and some 120,000 in Argentina.) Nevertheless, our only official language is Spanish, besides all them clumsy attempts to force Kechua into mainstream culture, which included passing a law making Kechua official -legally- and forcing schools to teach the language back in the sweet dictatorial 70s. All these attempts have utterly failed, since a language can never be forced into a society. Most Kechua speakers ALSO speak Spanish, and even the few who don't speak it at all have no choice but learn some at school, since THERE ARE NO KECHUA OR BILINGUAL SCHOOLS IN PERU. They SHOULD have the right to be schooled in their own language while learning the vastly more commercial and international Spanish, only that just doesn't happen in our country.

Which is particularly sad, given that countless kids in the highlands drop out primary school because they can't understand their teachers, who not only ignore Kechua but don't even care. The kids end up caring even less since the only things they get at then classroom is frustration, bad scores and even abuse. So they end up dropping out because they are much more productive working their ass off at the farm or the crops. And who wins with this situation?- our government, off course. Not long ago, these often poor Kechua speakers at the highlands didn't even have fucking IDs! Now most do, but just as a way to be told "Hey dumbass, this is your president giving you this goodie- now just vote for me and shut up."

So more and more kids drop out school, never learn to write or read, growing up to be drunk illiterate sheep for a government that will never give them education in Kechua but will flood their villages with political propaganda and oceans of beer.

2. Peruvians are black (or "African South American?)

You can go to YouTube and look for "Spanish race." You'll find shockingly racist videos posted by restarted Spaniards complaining about how they are pictured in Hollywood movies- as dark-skinned, black-haired Latin lovers.

White girls love to be Antonio Banderasized so badly.

So I'm not "complaining" about the fact that foreigners consider us black. I'm not an unemployed Spanish geek with too much free time running from a bull.

Or maybe I am. You'll never know anywayz.

What I do find silly is how simplistic some people's minds are. We are VERY diverse. Most of us look Indian or haven Indian features such as black hair or dark skin ("corn color.) However, we were invaded by Europeans, namely Spaniards, who were in turn invaded by Arabs. See? Indian + European + Arab. As enslaved Indians were dying by the thousands in the mines where Spanish forced them to extract gold, they came up with one brilliant idea: "Yo', homeboy, let's bring some couple thousands black slaves from Africa, and if some hundreds die on their way, nevermind!" Later, more hard work had to be done, so hoards of Chinese workers were brought, and as no hard work is really hard if it isn't Japanized, thousands of Japanese made it to our main port looking for a better future. (Believe it or not, Peru used to be much wealthier than both China and Japan back in the day. Ohhh the good old times!)

European + Indian + Black + Asian = Peruvians :-D

I'm not racist but thanks God we ain't got as many gingers anyways.

Of course, some are mixed, some would rather stay away from those who look different. But in the end, we ended up being so diverse that immigrants are shocked at how many colors they have to deal with on a daily basis.

As for blacks specifically, they are concentrated in some particular places like the towns South of the capital and Lima Downtown. And countless folks have at least SOME black blood. The dominant races here, though, are Indian, European and Asian. Countries like Ecuador have way more blacks than us, while Argentina is mostly white or fair-skinned. And ruled by Fidel Castro's transgender lovechild.

History will absolve me... BYATCH!.

1. Peruvians are dancers!

This one's funny. First of all, I don't think any man in the world actually enjoys dancing. If we sometimes accept to renounce to our balls for a couple of minutes and take a lady to the dance floor, that's just because we wanna get in her fucking pants. Brutally honest but true. Men ain't no dancers. Men are soccer players, couch potatoes and videogamers. A real man's favorite activity involving music is the combination of bullets and death metal while shooting the shit out of our Call of Duty rivals online. Men ain't got no rhythm. Men just wanna wake up, avoid the daily shower, get to work and ask the Lord to send an asteroid to hit our workplace so we can go home early to keep watching "Soccer Wrestling Warriors VS Topless Girls Chained to 4x4s."

HE enjoys dancing... but he also enjoys other girlie stuff like, you know, baking pink brownies for his boyfriend.

 Shocked by the truth? Well, taking an shower, brushing our teeth, and combing our hairs are the sort of things we do uniquely to please women. Peruvian, Chinese, American, Egyptian, we're all pretty much the same thing. We HAVE TO dance, wash ourselves and work. And when you are married, hell, you just ain't got no fucking choice.

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