Judul : Peruvian Soccer
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Peruvian Soccer
Ok, let me be blunt on this. I love my country. I love my motherland so much that even if Fidel Castro himself came to rule it, I'd still stay here. And that's my point. The feelings for your motherland go far beyond politics, religion, economic policies, and... sports. So, the fact that you are against some of these, does not mean you are 'anti-Peruvian' (a term Peruvian lawmakers love sooo much when you disagree with them.) For my American readers, you are certainly not 'anti-American' if you oppose Obamacare or just hate Romney's guts. And you are not a 'traitor' if you feel disgusted by some of your fellow Americans.
I took my time to stand this point since apparently in my country, you can't be a real Peruvian if you don't worship -and I'm not using the word worship lightly- the Peruvian national team. There are a bunch of stupid things you just can't even dislike without being called 'anti-Peruvian' (seafood, chili, Peruvian music, among others.)
And, when it comes to soccer, Peruvians just lose it. Just as in India they worship elderly monks who attained self-enlightenment and in Europe they hold the utmost respect for intellectuals & artists, in Peru we have our own sacred cows: soccer players. For starters, I must say now we have several Peruvians playing in major international leagues & performing outstandingly: scoring goals in Italy, Germany, and Spain, to name just a few.
BUT when it comes to joining the national team, the magic disappears.
We haven't made it to a Soccer World Cup since 1982. Notice it's the first time I use bolds in my blog because I just had to. Why does this mean? It means most Peruvian soccer fans have never ever seen our national team even competing in a World Cup, not to speak of scoring a single goal or beating another team. To make its way through the Soccer World Cup -which is held every 4 years- a national team must play a number of games vs other teams from the continent. After this stage -which we have failed seven times since 1982- then the team joins the privileged group of 24, 32 or whatever number of teams is allowed into, to get a chance to be the world champion.
It may sound hard to achieve, and it is indeed, that's why our fellow Bolivians, Ecuadorians, Colombians, Paraguayans -teams that used to be much worse than we are- have struggled for decades to make it... until they finally did. Not to ALL the World Cups, of course. But these national teams have managed to overcome their difficulties and have been part of some of the most recent World Cup editions. Congrats.
Now, if we haven't made it to the World Cup in 30 years (bolds again), why is it that Peruvians are so insanely in denial and continue supporting -and worshipping- our team?
First of all, most can't make a difference between 'Peru' and 'Peruvian soccer team.' Just as they old saying goes- 'If you don't love your motherland, you don't love your mother' -which I do accept as accurate- here folks think- 'If you don't show blind support to our soccer team, you don't love your motherland.' Crazy as it sounds, it's just this way. And it is one of the things I dislike about my cherished motherland.
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| Our national team. Yeah we lose all the games but who cares? 'We deserved to win!' I also censored the balls because that's preciesely what these jerkoffs don't have. |
BUT we DO have world champions. Hell we do! We have a Surfing World Champion, Miss Sofia Mulanovich, and -my favorite one- the incredibly badass female boxing champion Miss Kina Malpartida. They both totally deserve the 'Miss' thing, and will certainly deserve the 'Mrs.' thing once they get married. To winners like them, I hope.
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| She's also kinda hot when not looking so scary at the ring. |
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Not really my type but I'd totally date her (if I were single.) I love the smell of victory ♥ |
IF we do have world champions in other disciplines, then why aren't people crazy about them? Why don't we have their faces on TV 24/7 and the president having his damn pic taken holding their medals and belts? The reasons are basically two-
(1) MONEY. Yeah the same old money we all claim to hate but we all struggle to get. Surfing does not sell. Boxing does not sell. They don't keep millions stuck to their cable TVs for hours, neither do they have the juicy deals with Coca Cola or Samsung, which plot the greatest TV ads ever seen on Peruvian TV to advertise their products before, during and after soccer games. AND there isn't just one institution in charge of Peruvian soccer but two: the Association and the Federation (which is nonsense since it's only one sport.) You can drive all along the main avenues and you'll see the endless posters and gigantic screens boasting how awesome our soccer players are in their Nike soccer shoes, their Adidas t-shirts, or playing Sony Playstation while having Coca Cola. Boxing can't do that. It doesn't fill the pockets of so many people involved (damn vultures.) Not to speak about surfing.
(2) SMOKE SCREEN. Just as the Super Bowl & the NBA Finals keep Americans too engaged and deranged to realize half of their taxes are going to finance massacres in the Middle East and bailout the banks that destroyed American economy... well, here we watch soccer. The day our team plays, the whole country seems to stop. Tears. Hugs. Beer selling. Consumerism. Stupidity. They all KNOW we're not gonna make it, but anyways the game's just to freaking awesome to miss! And come on! You are Peruvian, ain'tcha? Let's pay for a ticked and go to the stadium to chant 'THE ONES WHO DON'T JUMP / ARE NOT PERUVIAN!' And nevermind we were beaten -as we always are since 1982- we can still get drunk to drown the sorrows of our raped national pride (or celebrate an lame victory vs Venezuela.) AND Peruvians forget about the massacre going on in the rain forest by terrorist and drug-traffickers, we forget about the real estate bubble we are all fueling crazily, we forget the fact that the President and his brother murdered four cops in a 'legitimate uprising', and we forget the fact that one of them is our freaking President and the other is in 'prison' where he owns an iPhone 4, gives conferences, smokes pot and womanizes like there's no tomorrow.
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| But who cares about this when there's a soccer game on TV? And damn, I'd also like my brother to be the President so I could go to jail and rock' n roll, bitches! |
Just in case you haven't noticed yet, I'm not really into soccer. And I'm not into our Peruvian Royal family either. But Peruvian politics is such a complex tragic comedy it deserves not one but perhaps a hundred entries, which I'm absolutely not gonna post since I love my liver.
To sum up, there's more on the table than soccer & beer to have fun with. There's surfing, there's boxing, there're books, for God sake! Go watch a movie. Go visit a museum. Take your kids to the playground and have a blast like there's no tomorrow, because this is the kind of events that Latinos used to be famous for, and hopefully still are. We are family oriented people. And I don't wanna see our society transforming into a bunch of hooligans ready to kill & die for a team that is the laugh of South America.
Peru is NOT its national team. Peru is not even our world champions Sofia Mulanovich and Kina Malpartida. Peru means much more to me than just sports. And if you really love your motherland, take a minute to reflect on this. Because I'm afraid every single society has its own puppeteers playing with their fellows' most intimate weaknesses to gain absolute control over them. And YOU are not a puppet. You are stronger and better than that.
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